Explore Your Edge
There is, within each of us, an impulse to evolve –- to grow, be more, do more, have more, and experience more. I often hear people say, “I know I’m capable of doing much more, but I’m not sure what I want to do or how to make it happen.” Here is the key:
The way I see it:
Life begins where your comfort zone ends.
Wanting more out of life is natural. For many people the majority of what they are doing has nothing to do with what is most important to them. So they are exhausted and unfulfilled. Imagine what could be possible for you if you took the time to discover what is truly important to you, prioritized your time and activities and started living up to your full potential. So much of what you are capable of has yet to be discovered and explored — aren’t you curious? So, what’s stopping you? Why don’t you have the life you can picture yourself having? Why aren't you the person you know you can be?
Here’s the thing –- we don’t evolve by doing the same things over and over. To realize more of your potential, you will need to step out of your comfort zone and start living on your evolutionary edge. Challenge yourself, take risks, think, feel and do things you have never done before, it can be scary. Most people won’t even step out onto that edge because it is uncomfortable. We are hard-wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain. We take the first twinge of discomfort as a sign that we are doing something wrong, or heading in the wrong direction, and will immediately retreat back to the comfort zone.
How comfortable is your comfort zone?
Think about how many of these words apply to how you are feeling about your life right now: stuck, stagnant, dull, lifeless, uninspired, indifferent, disengaged, isolated, confused, doubtful, struggling, helpless, powerless, insignificant, hopeless, negative, unenthusiastic, incapable, weak, disconnected, unhappy, tired, anxious, depressed, angry, mediocre, surviving, dwelling on the past…
Are you feeling comfortable? Staying too long in your comfort zone will create the worst kind of pain. If pain or mediocrity has become your comfort zone, perhaps you have overstayed your welcome.
All possibilities exist in what Deepak Chopra calls “the field of pure potentiality” our unexplored potential, the unknown; but in the "unknown" you don’t know what’s going to happen or how, so you choose to go back to the predictability of your comfort zone. You feel safe with the outcome of your actions there because you’ve experienced it before. But inevitably you will meet with failure –- those habitual thoughts, ideas, and actions are only good enough to get us what we already have.
What if the challenges you currently face are the map you need to get you back to your inspired, enthusiastic, radiant self. How would your life be different if you made a conscious decision to get up each day and just give it all you’ve got? If you decided to show up for life every day and commit yourself to being as excellent as you can be, how would your life change?
It’s OKAY to acknowledge if you are afraid or uncomfortable, but are you willing? If you are willing to “get comfortable being uncomfortable,” to live on the edge of what you know and don’t know, what you have explored and experienced and what is waiting to be experienced and developed, the possibilities are endless. The path to self-discovery may be awkward and scary, but is also exciting! It’s about doing new things, having new experiences, meeting new people, and having fun!
So here’s the question: Where is your edge? Where is it in your career?… In your relationships? Your health? Your finances? Your social life? Where is it in your education and mental development? In your spiritual development?
The evolutionary edge is where our change and growth occurs –- where we learn about ourselves, progress, and become more flexible mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Imagine feeling courageous, confident, energized, challenged, passionate, adventurous, empowered, creative, vulnerable, willing, committed. When you are living on your edge, you are allowing, thriving, facing your fears, taking chances, speaking your truth, living in the moment, experiencing the experience. You will open yourself up to new opportunities, move in the direction of full self-expression, know yourself and feel comfortable in your skin. You will live your life with conviction, purpose, honesty, integrity, excellence, self-esteem, trust, and gratitude.
If you are satisfied with mediocrity, then being your best and living on your edge every once in a while will do just fine. But if you are interested in living a fabulous life, you must live on your edge EVERY DAY.
A fabulous life is nothing more than a series of fabulously lived days strung together.
Remember, life in the comfort zone is not that comfortable anyway, so you might as well choose to live with the discomfort that will benefit you -– Explore Your Edge!
Own Who YOU ARE!
If you are going to OWN who YOU are,
Know Who You ARE
and Who You Are NOT!
The Way I See It.
I know this is a gross simplification of a complicated subject, but I need a starting point. We'll divide YOU into three distinct parts, in reality, you're a combination of all three with one area dominating. You can decide which. We'll label the three parts -1 0 +1
-1 Programmed and Conditioned Self, Ego, aka, Persona, Mask, Self-image; this is who YOU are not! (This is who most people THINK they are.)
0 Natural State of Being, Neutral, who YOU are, aka, presence, ground zero, authentic self, essence, soul connection
+1 Highest Future Potential, who YOU can be, everything in 0 and more, beyond what we can imagine.
I'll describe all three separately, but before I start, I'll mention that you will probably see yourself as some combination of all three. Most people live 97% of the time in "-1" with the occasional experience of presence in "0" and rare moments of an opening into expanded states of "+1". More people are waking up to "0" and living conscious lives, but still wavering back to "-1" enough to have a significant negative impact on their lives.
I encourage and offer gentle but powerful tools that help my clients release "-1" and use "0" as a platform to open up and reach for "+1". Read on. We are all capable of "0" and "+1" states, and there is something inside, a restlessness and a knowing that we are capable of more. We just don't know what that is or how to get there.
When you are separate from your authentic power and essence, as most people are, (Physically, Mentally, Emotionally and Spiritually) you seek symbols of power to demonstrate and validate your worth and compensate for the void you feel inside. Many are seeking money, position, title, toys and control over others to prove their worth. From "-1" you see yourself as inferior or superior, and neither are true.
Disconnected from your source of high energy and authentic power, you feel physically drained, tired, exhausted and reach for stimulants to keep your energy up; coffee, sugar, drugs, other chemical stimulants. Instead of deep intimacy and the profound connection we are all capable of, many seek intensity in through negative experiences and activities that create an adrenaline rush; extreme sports, risk taking for the thrill or drama, anger and rage. In business, it's the difference between, success and significance, fast vs. deep, ambition vs. meaning, net worth vs. self-worth, performance vs. discovery, importance vs. impact, accumulation vs. abundance, achievement vs. fulfillment, valuables vs. values, competition vs. connection, making it big vs. making a big difference.
The further you move away from who you are, the more uncomfortable your life experience. As a child, your mother, father, teacher, preacher, authority and community contributed to shaping your sense of self. We do not need to make anyone wrong or use this to judge, but it is important to understand how we all got where we are.
-1 Programmed and Conditioned, Ego, Persona
This is not who you are, but most likely, due to conditioning, wounding and trauma, (primarily mental and emotional), this is the aspect you identify with most.
Disconnected from your natural source of empowerment, you often experience fear, self-doubt, uncertainty, stress and anxiety. You may feel stuck, distracted, frustrated, compare yourself to others, thinking they have it together, everyone seems to have it together except you. You have a tendency to hide, isolate, disconnect from emotions, and numb out with food, TV, social media, alcohol, sex. Your thoughts, if you could hear them out loud, are in the past or future, anywhere but here in the present, there is a good reason for this which I will discuss later.
You are busy, trying to get it right, working hard to get somewhere you're just not sure exactly where you are supposed to be. You do not trust life to unfold in a way that will work out for you. Opportunities are limited because you are in reaction to the past and focused on trying to create something in the future. You are rarely present, especially when it matters - when there is a challenge.
You believe something is wrong with you; you're not good enough, not ready, not smart enough, pretty enough, successful enough, fit enough, just not enough. You judge yourself and others, feel depressed and abandon your needs to take care of others. In the face of challenge, you react rather than respond. You're attached to having things turn out a certain way so you can feel good. You are prone to depression, anger, resentment - blaming your situation on the government, economy, partner, boss, colleagues or family. Dark moods are frequent; you believe this is happening to you, you are the victim. You are an intelligent human being, how can this be your life?
In this contracted state, you are not available to "choose," you are in reaction, and you will continue to run your old story and repeat old patterns like the hamster running on the wheel that goes nowhere. You can change this. Are you ready to get off that wheel?
0 - Ground Zero, Your Natural State of Being, The Real YOU, Neutral
Given that this is your natural state of being, it is shocking how little time and attention goes here. Connected to an authentic source of internal power, that's been there all along, imagine that we have gently and compassionately removed the old programming and conditioning, stories and wounds. It's all mental and emotional, and we have the power to change it.
You are grounded, confident, capable, happy, light, carefree, trusting yourself, trusting life and others. You are open to possibilities and opportunities and often step out of your comfort zone to take advantage of them. You feel alive, energized, enthusiastic and ready for life! You are resilient in the face of life challenges.
Connected to your authentic power, you feel alive. When aligned with inner knowing there is desire, connection, and a sense of well-being. It enhances your immune system, releases anti-aging hormones, is responsible for your ability to innovate, create and contribute your gifts with passion.
Rational and willing are combined with creative, intuitive, inspired and lively. Now that's a powerful woman! You are awake, aware, conscious, present, in touch with and experiencing the full range of emotions without getting stuck in them. With emotions flowing, you no longer need to shove them down with food, alcohol, shopping or numb out with TV, social media or any other distraction. You are free to make healthy food choices that bring your body to ideal weight, for good. You feel energized and also have the desire to exercise because it feels good and you feel good. You know what you want and being present; know exactly how to choose what's best for you and you do, every time.
With the past cleaned up, you are available to focus on the present; you feel confident and comfortable in your skin. You are exploring your edge in all areas of life, and your life is unfolding; you are growing and realizing more of your potential every day. You commit to a daily practice of nourishing your soul; elevating your energy, you experience goodness, truth, and beauty expressing through you.
You know yourself, and you know how to connect deeply with others in meaningful, intimate, loving relationship. You are tuned in and turned on by life. You are sensual, creative, powerful and engaged in authentic, intimate relationships. You experience pleasure in many ways; tasting delicious food, sounds of nature, music and laughter, beauty surrounds you. Your intuition which you trust implicitly leads you in the right direction 100% of the time.
You have unique gifts, talents and personality traits that you have honed in a way that allow you to live your life on purpose. The focus is on nurturing and strengthening your soul every day while moving forward. This nurturing is the ultimate act of self-love, self-respect and is the most direct route to true self-confidence.
+1 Highest Future Potential
You are living from the inside out. Inspired, joyful, loving, light, and present you experience communion, connection and collaboration with other highly evolved beings. Gratitude, appreciation, grace, alignment, illumination, peace, beauty, kindness, care, admiration, dignity, clarity, focus are words that describe a lived experience at this level of consciousness.
You align with your creative power, live your highest potential, listen to your higher intelligence, trust your intuition and courageously act on it!
You live a surrendered life, aligned with your truth, purpose, and essence, you are contributing your unique gifts and experience how creativity expands as you engage with others, collectively. You are a living example for your children, our next generation, your life is a contribution to the elevation of consciousness. In a variety of ways, your soul-centered creativity is expressed through dance, art, writing and verbal communication.
You have cultivated relationships in a community that wants what is best for you, that wants you to thrive that will be there to support and encourage you to be the best you can be.